Guess I belong here now...

[sweetbabyred]

So I made it through Thanksgiving. The night before I talked to my MIL and youngest nephew on the phone. He's adorable and told me all about first grade. It was a little sad when he asked why I wasn't going to be there for Thanksgiving, but then he said maybe I could be there in the summer for his birthday again.

Thanksgiving morning I was a little sad, but decided to be productive and get some cleaning done. As I vacuumed, I was praying, asking if I should continue to stand for my M or if I should completely move on. I turned off the vacuum and heard someone sliding a flier through my front door. I thought it was odd that someone would be out on a holiday promoting a restaurant or similar, but then forgot about it.

A few minutes later, I went to get it from the door and saw that it was a religious brochure, asking if one believed in resurrection and the dead coming alive again. It sounds crazy, but I really do believe it was a sign that I'm not done yet.

But, the biggest part of standing is just being patient and continuing to work on myself. I can't rush anything and if it's meant to happen it will, but not in my timing.

I have 10 more days left in the semester, so that's my focus right now. Then I'll be able to relax for a few weeks, although I'll be busy with work til Christmas.

I have plenty of personal reading to catch up on and will hopefully have a chance to have a social life for awhile. I'm not holding my breath for a reconciliation, but I do still have hope.

Xh often mentions that he wonders if things would be different if we were still together. I usually don't comment, because there is no use wondering about it if he's not willing to try and see. And that's the only way to know if things would be different.