I guess I am not as detached as I thought I was. Even if a stranger treated me like that I would wonder what I did wrong or what I could do different to improve a relation. Pretty sure its on her end not mine.
Have you read No More Mister Nice Guy? It helped me to see and understand just how much validation I was seeking not just from my W but from everyone in my life, and how harmful the pursuit of validation was to me. I think what you're talking about above is not so much a detachment issue as it is a "nice guy syndrome" issue. Her behavior is not a reflection of you doing something right or wrong, she owns that behavior whether good, bad or ugly. You just need to be true to yourself regardless of how she's acting.
