You are reading into what she is saying, instead of just accepting that maybe, MAYBE she really does just want to spend time with you. I can see why you would set emotional boundaries for yourself, but I am not sure what you are waiting for from her. Do you want her to BEG? Does she have to say she is 100% committed to working things out, and wants to R and get remarried and love you forever? All she is asking is for you to go write at her house.
I've been thinking about this, and it's important to me. I have worked so hard on removing pressure...removing anything that can even be perceived as pressure so that she can heal and move forward.
I have said that if we are to reconcile, that I don't want it to be a half-assed attempt (not necessarily in those words). But you make an excellent point. I have created an environment where reconciliation with me is 100% devotion to our family and to our relationship.
THAT is most definitely PRESSURE!
Thankfully this is largely behind the veil from her view, but it's certainly possible that this posture I maintain is seeping out into other areas because I was not aware of it.
I feel justified with my stance. There are kids involved and a lot of hurt and hearts in play. There is a lot of history and baggage and garbage and memories and love.
However, my stance could certainly be counterproductive to reconciliation given its inherent posture of pressure.
I have been thinking about this. I don't think the answer for me is to be aware of the pressure my stance creates so that it doesn't accidentally pop out somewhere else. I don't think I need to try and hide it as best I can.
I think the answer - for me, at least - is to let go even more.
I think I need to truly let go of the past and approach her like a new person, and us - whatever we are - like a completely new relationship.
--- So there's this pretty lady that I like. She's got some baggage (and FOUR KIDS!!!), but I like her...there's just this connection between us that I can't ignore (and her kids are alright, I guess ). She invited me over to her place tomorrow because she wants me to make some food for her that she's been craving. I'm going to go over and see if I can get to know her better.
). She invited me over to her place tomorrow because she wants me to make some food for her that she's been craving. I'm going to go over and see if I can get to know her better. 
