Wife says she wants to leave

[dingo]

Hi cc - I actually read your thread after you posted on mine and have gotten a lot out of it. If I could recommend anything to you it would be to keep doing what you are doing no matter what. I have gone up and down with my wife for the last 4 months. You want to believe in them and that they see the same potential that you do but they won't right away and anything they do that seems to indicate otherwise is just an upswing on the roller coaster. In hindsight, I wish I had been able to do the things I am doing now back in July when everything came to light. I wish I had not been lulled into the belief that everything was better when things became good.

I also wanted to comment on your discussion about a possible PA. In my experience, the EA is the much bigger enemy (of course the combination of EA/PA is even worse). My wife admitted to an EA in early July and that it was actually a PA/EA a few weeks later. After the initial shock had worn off, the EA hurt me far worse (and has proven to be the tougher thing to break). Prior to her moving out earlier this week, my wife's time has been well accounted for and I believe that the PA has been on hold or gone since mid-September. However, due to her emotional attachment to the OM, she has not been able to maintain no contact and our MR continues to deteriorate. Its the promise of a new and better life - greener grass - that makes the EA so hard to break.