Today, I am proud of myself and H. We have been working together to pick out Christmas gifts for the kids. In the past, H never paid attention. I would ask for input and he would not respond or look quickly or just say whatever you want.
The other day, H said that he wanted to be in a marriage with a wife who is his partner. I told him that I understood wanting to be a partner and have a teammate. I did not argue with him about the fact that we could not be partners because he was MIA and did not pay attention. I took on the whole "better to be happy than right" approach. I can see why he would think that I was not a partner and/or that my opinion mattered more.
This Christmas, H has been asking me about gifts IN ADVANCE (he is a huge procrastinator). H looked online and sent me a long list of ideas for the boys. H just sent me a message at work and asked if I saw his list. I had been busy with work and did not have a chance to respond to his email but let him know that I got it. H said that he is really excited about the things that we had both picked out.
Even if we are just co-parenting, it feels awesome to be on H's team again. We are both working hard to make sure that our kiddos have a great Christmas. We are listening to each others opinions, bouncing ideas off each other. A very sharp contrast to the two very angry people that could not stand in the same room together at the beginning of October.
