Recently, I noticed a couple posts on Facebook that Wife had commented on. This is rare, because she has me completely blocked, even though she remains friends with some of my family members and mutual friends. It's weird, but I don't pay it much attention for the most part. However, I broke down and snooped on W Facebook page after seeing this. I saw LOTs and LOTs of posts and picture with OM. Wife is currently living with OM. Daughter lives there as well during her time. Daughter even has her own bedroom there, decorated up in her style. At first it kind of bothered me that W has progressed SOOOO far into this new relationship. They are living like husband and wife, and including my daughter and their families into the mix. After a bit, I realized I wasn't really all that mad. Wife looked happy in most of the pics, although she does look weathered and tired as well. I caught a few smiles from daughter. There are other kids that live in the home (not OM's), that daughter seems fond of. Some of their new friends look like fun people. I actually found a little peace in knowing that they seemed somewhat happy. With that said, I found myself feeling a little more relieved than upset. Who knows, maybe I am really starting to detach for real?
I don't really know what to do with my situation anymore. It is clear that the marriage is completely dead and there will be no reconciling. So, what do I do now? Why am I still focused on W in a lot of my thoughts? I have recently started dating. Work has been good. I am able to manage my finances and survive at this point, "kind of". I feel I have made some really good gains in my personal growth, and I will continue to work on myself. Life is seemingly moving forward, but it still feels somewhat empty on the inside. I laugh. I enjoy time with friends, but I just don't ever feel complete. I don't know what to do with that. I don't know how to change that.....
