I was told about 6 weeks ago (before Halloween) by my husband of 20 years that he did not want to spend the next 20 years with me and wanted to move out. Over the next 3 weeks, we had long talks into the night, lots of sex, but nothing would budge him. In the second 3 weeks since the bomb dropped, I decided that all the discussions were pushing him farther away, and decided to just touch him lovingly in bed and have nice discussions of our day and family in bed and at dinner. The strangest thing is that in all this time (the full 6 weeks since his announcement), he was kind and happy within the context of our family - nice to me, nice to the kids, played games all together, requested certain dinners which I made for him and he thanked me for, gave me kisses at the beginning and end of every day and acquiesced to going on 2 dates. But 2 days before Thanksgiving, he informed me that he got the keys to an apartment and was moving out 2 days after Thanksgiving. 2 nights before he moved out, he snuggled up to me and spooned me in bed. There has been no awkwardness or tenseness in our daily interactions in the home before he moved out: People would find hard to believe, but it's true.
We told the kids on Friday -Boy, 11, girl 8, they were devastated and so am I. He moved out on Saturday. I am so sad and oddly, even though one of the characteristics that has pushed him away from me is that I get angry and yell at him on occasion, I am not angry at him and am having the hardest time accepting this. I have been anxiety-ridden all the time the last 6 weeks. He says he has been feeling this for a long time - He is not in love with me anymore - but he never said anything! I just don't understand how the problems between us are not worth working on - they do not seem so deep compared to other couples'. Any help or support appreciated. Thank you.
M 20 yrs me 47 H 51 s11 d8
BD 10/8/13 H Moved out 11/30/13 OW slept over with children Dec '13 OW moved in w/H Jan '14
