ONE DOWN ONE TO GO

[Ambivalent]

I do get it's not about me. He has said this from the very beginning. I also know my changes will not "bring" him home. The ones I've mad ARE for me.

I am just a VERY curious person, and want to know as much as I can. Yes the good with the bad.

And I do see the pattern of getting myself up and working. He is a manager and he knows how to motivate, manipulate, and structure.

I am aware of what could be, and what may be, and also mind reading. I do have to tread carefully.

For to be frank, if I get a separation agreement,I would be getting approx. x amount of dollars. I would have to pay all the bills here, and it would be way more than what I'm currently living on. So it truly benefits him currently, that it stay the way it is. On the other hand, he can write off alimony on his taxes. He still owes back taxes and is under either way.

My getting a job, will not have an effect on my alimony. It won't be enough to really change that area. However , he would like to see me at least bring in a grand a month. Twelve a year, doesn't help him in the legal area, but it does in our bills area...

Anyhoo, either way, I'm going to seek counsel and educate myself.