But I want to ask her when she returns. "Have you spoken to xAP?" I'm not sure how I feel about the desire to ask that question. I'm not clear on how it would be perceived by W, but it may be a clear need for RT, and I come first. OR... is it a manifestation of the fear and pain from the original betrayal that I am trying to CONTROL?!!! (Oh lord, if Val and SD read this... I better duck! LOL! It will be a 2x4 bonanza!)
When your W returns, you don't want to jump her with that question. What would you do differently? What would you do to make W feel welcome and comfortable in her own home? Remember the goal is to bring W closer and work on the reconciliation process. If I were you, I'd greet W in an upbeat way and say that you hoped that the trip was a success for her.
From where I sit, I think it is a mixture of both control and anxiety that is making you twitch to ask W the question. Anxiety and uncertain feelings lead to control. Make sense? Sit with the anxiety and work through it. I get that you want to connect all dots and have the perfect answers on what W does while away on her business trip. What she does on her own time is her choice.
As we've all said here, there will be fits and starts alongside with some bumps as you two progress on the reconciliation path especially if there was OP in the picture.
I have a niggling feeling that W will eventually spill the beans after returning from the business trip. Sit still and wait for the waterfall to come out of the faucet.
