Feel like falling down

[willbwell]

I do know my plan for me.

I am in school. Can't really work until I finish that which will be next September, but a step closer...

I am a great mom. I know that.

I am healthy(physically) I do yoga. I bought dance lessons on groupon. I will be 49. I am aging as we all do, but I look good. I am fit. I take care of myself.

I has wonderful friends and family. They are a blessing.
I am spiritual.... I pray . God is my Shepherd.

I am getting out more and more with new activities/people.

I was on Match a while last year just to see.... H asked what I wrote in my profile. I told h, I wrote what he already knows...

I am good, sweet, kind, sexy, fun, and happy.
H is a fool.

H and I will forever be connected because of our d15. She will forever need care. She will most likely live with me into her late 20's. Perhaps go to a group home in her 30's. She will always need someone to manage her care.

I am nice to h. When he comes around, I seem to forget the damage he has done to me and our family.
when I stop and think about it, it is sickening how little he is around S17. It is the same story for all of us . I know.

I know I am afraid of my anger. so I smooth over and avoid it.

A year from now... we may be divorced. I believe we will continue to behave in the same way. polite, nice. H doing his thing. me doing mine.