"You're My Best Friend"

[reachingHigher]

Update:

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my sister. H & I stayed in a local hotel room, which was very nice.

I feel we made a lot of progress forward this weekend.

My sister and I spent some time together alone. We visited some childhood issues and took several incidents in my life and worked through them, closing the door on unresolved emotions with each one. It was SO healing!

She also gave the four of us (my H, me and two boys) a personality test. We all came out different! Surprise, surprise!

But....I found it very valuable in working on R's with our boys, with my H, and accepting who I am.

I'll put a little profile here of me:

Organized
Loyal
Can be depended on to follow things through to completion
Enjoy creating order, structure and schedules
Enjoy interacting with people
Warm-hearted and sympathetic
Tend to put others' needs above their own
Very good at giving practical care
Very cooperative, good team members
Practical and down-to-earth
Value peaceful living and security
Enjoy variety, but work well with routine tasks
Need approval from others
Receive satisfaction from giving to others
Live in the here and now - dislike theorizing about the future

I feel this helped me immensely with seeing my strengths and weaknesses.

My sister and I also talked about other times I was "stuck" in my life and why and so on.

Today, I viewed my H's personality profile and looked at how I could understand him better in relation to me. He needs a great deal more personal space and private space than I do. His manner of communicating is action not talking. Seeing this, helps me understand more of who he is, and if I'm mindful of it, hopefully can help us in our R as we move forward.

Tonight H and I did separate activities. H is out with a guy friend viewing a live wrestling match. I went to a library function on learning how to cook healthier for the holidays!

H is planning our mutual Christmas present which I think will be a show, dinner, etc. After seeing his personality profile, it makes sense that this would be a special gift from him. He takes pleasure in the here and now. And he is very fun to go out on dates with!

My idea of a present is different. So I have a gift in mind to give him. The kind that will be wrapped really attractively and one I know he will like. B/c that's who I am. I like pretty presents under the tree for me and that's what I'll give to my H.

So...this has given me a lot of food for thought. And confidence in who I am. That just being me is good enough. Good enough for me and those around me. This has also given me desire for more harmonious and understanding R's in our family. And THAT is something to be very thankful for!

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Wonka, I really appreciated your list suggestion, thank you !!! It was so sweet of you to think of me

Last week (before reading this) I was watching my H get ready to go out for the evening and I said you look sexy as he!!. He was going out to meet his drinking friends, so I obviously was saying this altruistically. But I could tell he really appreciated it!

This is a good reminder to treat our spouses with kindness and respect at every opportunity we can get.

I'll incorporate some more of these in my convo's.

BF and uRw, glad you liked the parody. The party was cancelled for weather

MissA, I appreciate the advice and also the suggestion for a career test. I'll go that route if I don't pass the test in the next month or so. Some of my other interests don't work well with the schedule the family has. You know how that goes.....

Pud, Ambiv just said "hey Pud", when she meant "hey rH"! I guess you figured it out?

And Ambiv, thanks for your thoughts and reflections. And thank you for explaining. I still keep up mostly on reading your thread.

uRw, I love all the things you said to me. You got way, way down in my gut, my heart and made me think! And I know that you wanted that. My sister and I worked on some things that needed closure. And I feel more "me" than I have in ever so long.

I've got some work to do. I feel more in a balanced place now, after Thanksgiving. I'm more excited about life than I have been for a long time. Not the giddy, excited, school-girl excitement, but the settled, peaceful, mindful-in-the-present excited. It's a good place to be.