I also had "drama" with my own parents this weekend.
As my siblings and I were loading up to leave, my parents "informed" me that they were trading cars with me so that they could buy me some new tires.
H and my parents "had it out" a year and a half ago and things are always awkward if they have to be in the same place at the same time (football games, etc.) AND my parents and H have not uttered a word to each other in a year and a half. My parents won't even look at H...much less talk to him.
And, H would talk to everyone, except my dad...but he'd says he'd rather take a bullet than talk to my dad ever again.
H bad-mouths them and they bad-mouth him...and it's stressful for me and our kids.
So, I nicely told my parents that I really appreciate their kindness but that it would cause problems with H. He is saving up to buy us tires for the car...and things are already tense.
Well, my parents LOST it about everything that's been going on. My mom was crying....my dad was yelling. I actually used DBing techniques with them to try to calm them down. Lol.
But it wasn't good. Was very unpleasant. I tried to explain to them that I believe in my vows and my marriage, for "better or worse"....that I'm not ready to give up yet, etc.
They just don't "get it"...and it was one of the hardest convos I have ever had with my parents. I can't talk to my siblings about it b/c they are siding with my parents.
And, I can't talk to H about it because things are already so strained with him.
It's just tough. This MLC stuff affects so many people...not just the spouses.
Tell them that you appreciate that they care (it's obvious that they do), but if they will not support the decisions you are making then to please keep their comments to themselves.
Always honor your father and mother, but that doesn't mean they can do and say whatever they want, and that no boundaries should be established. Protect yourself from them, too, if they are bad influences on you reaching your goals.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
