Thanks RL, JF and Kate for stopping by. It really means a lot to me to get input from other fine DB'ers.

Originally Posted By: RL
At least your W works and shows some interest in FB and her little Seinfeld group of friends...


And she still talks to me and we do meals, errands and some family stuff together.

I'm back to compassion mode, where I feel she is doing the best that she can at the moment. I really can't ask for anything more, and as I alluded to in my last post, I have not asked any depression related questions, because I agree with this:

Originally Posted By: kate
Is it normal to feel that way? No, but asking your wife won't cause an epiphany. Sadly, this is not something you can really help with.


So unless it comes up, I will not initiate the depression discussion... I think.

Originally Posted By: JFun
She wants no responsibility. She doesn't want to wash clothes, wash dishes, pay bills, put kids to bed, etc, etc, etc. She has invited me to leave on numerous occasions. She has no other viable option.


My W does her share of the chores, so I can't complain. She has suggested I find a new W, and even pointed out possible candidates, but thankfully that was last year, and I've not heard this for a while now.

W also makes more than enough money to live comfortably on her own, but is still here. I accept part of the credit for this because I made a comfortable, pressure free environment in our home. The rest I attribute to luck. Last New Years Eve, she commented on how she "didn't run away last year"(!)

You are still early in this JF, and your W is deep in the hate mode. If you're lucky,(?) you'll make it through that into the looooong limbo mode. laugh Seriously, I considered my M DB'ed a long time ago. Now I'm waiting/hoping for W to sign up and work on a new and better marriage before I pull the plug. Wish me luck!

Originally Posted By: kate
A friend of mine has suffered from depression for years. His wife just told him she is done. That caused him to seek help. So I think that unless you find something more to lose than yourself it's a really long road.


That "something more to lose" may eventually come to a marriage near me. Loveless limbo can only last so long. I'm not losing myself to save this M.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl