Look what the cat dragged in! (TL)

[tigerlily78]

Hi TL,

I was trying to catch up on your sitch. You seem really level headed and clear about how to handle this ugliness. That is very inspiring!

I am really impressed with how you deal with your H. And that you actually get feedback from him.

Thanks Busting. My H used to be the sort who was not very open about how we was feeling. I see how that ended up contributing to his pent up anger and resentment and his sense that "I should know how he feels" even if he doesn't tell me played into a lot of our R problems. So yes, now that he is willing to open up a little and tell me how he is feeling, I think it's really a positive 180 for our situation.

It did really strike me as odd, how at BD and in the first week or so afterwards he wanted to tell me EVERYTHING. I know WAY more about the OW than is reasonable or sane. I suspect a big part of my H's journey is going to be finding his ability to be comfortable sharing his thoughts and emotions in a more intimate way than he used to. And for that I am glad.

There was a big lull in our communication when I first told him I could no longer stand to hear all about how great OW was and that it was disrespectful and hurtful for him to subject me to hearing it. I made it clear I was still willing to talk about him, us, and our son. So now it seems like he is finally in a place again where he can talk to me about HIM, and that is a big deal.