My inclination is to stretch my own limits when I've come to the point that this arrangement/situation/relationship isn't working for me anymore. I will simply say "you're an awesome guy and it's been great getting to know you but casual isn't working for me anymore. If you want to take it up a notch, I'm game, but if not it's time to part ways." No need to make a slurry out of a situation by thinking too much.
As for the divorce...there's a financial matter that H will have resolved in January (hopefully...that'll be almost a year after he was supposed to have it sorted). Plus, it's an expensive pain in the butt that I'm avoiding like the plague as I don't care for expensive pains in the butt. If I could file online I'd be all over it, but running around with paperwork is like a stick in the eye. There is absolutely no "unresolved issue" with H. Not even hint of one. I cannot be more clear about that. As for not being completely available...not the case. Marriage most definitely isn't on my mind so divorce is largely irrelevant.
Like most living, breathing, feeling human beings, I am looking for companionship, intimacy and support. Ultimately, yes, I want a proper relationship. This was my first foray into the dating scene since H and I split, so I didn't know where the experience or the person would take me. You figure out if you want these things with a particular individual by getting to know them...you do not know from the outset if someone is a fit...hence "get to know each other and see where it goes", which he was amenable to. Part of getting to know somebody is to observe and be with them in their broader context...which includes how they interact with family and friends. So do we get to know each other further, or is the second part of the agreement already reached?
Any yes, I am the strong, silent type and I am drawn to the strong, silent type. Getting a sense of a relationship's nature is not contrary to this, and it doesn't mean that I am changing any rules. Relationships and feelings evolve all the time. We folks here should know that more than anybody else. Plus, I am not the sort who has to spend copious amounts of time with somebody and be in constant communication. It would drive me nuts, to be honest. This is part of the reason he and I are well suited.
Anyway, if the tone of this response comes off as terse or defensive, it isn't meant to be. Just being direct. I really know what it is I need to do, it's just having the nads to do it. There's always the "fade to black" scenario, but that doesn't wash with choosing to live your life more purposefully.
Appreciate the input.
me 45 H 46 T 5 M 2.5 BD Sept 6 2011 OW Sept 8 2011 Threw him out Sept 8 2011
