scared, confused, hopeful...

[labug]

Julie, your sitch is a bit different due to the addiction issue so just tread lightly. I don't think anyone should purposefully try to be mysterious but in most sitches, you don't have to volunteer information about where you're going or what you're doing.

You do have it tough, as Melissa said.

Has your M always had this what seems unequal distribution of "off" time? Did your H do GAL things when you were home with the kids?

You don't sound whiney, we all need time to ourselves, to do what we want to do.

Did you get the Codependent No More book? What day is your meeting?

[juliegayle]

Waiting till pay day (thurs) for book. Meeting is 8pm wed. This is a newcomers meeting.

And yes. It was alway unequal "time off" but it never bothered ne before.

[juliegayle]

Waiting till pay day (thurs) for book. Meeting is 8pm wed. This is a newcomers meeting.

And yes. It was alway unequal "time off" but it never bothered ne before.

[labug]

I'm a used book store/thrift shopper. I've rarely been in a thrift store that I haven't seen a copy of the book. You might want to check that out. Or the library.

Newcomer's mtgs are great because you see and begin to understand that you're not alone.

[bluesgal]

When I GAL, I will ask my H if he can watch the kids for me on a day he usually wouldn't. He almost always agrees to. Sometimes he asks why. When he does, I'm vague, but will also tell him if I feel he really wants to know.

This is out of character for me. Before the bomb, I was always home. Predictable. I was always going over our weekly schedules and managing the home. (Marriage became too business-like)

It is out of character for me to do things for myself that I enjoy. I have been connecting with friends and family. Spent more time at the library and window shopping. I love reading new magazines. I've been cooking/baking for fun again instead of just putting food on the table.

GAL feels really good right now. I think your situation is a lot harder to GAL without close friends/family around to help. Do you think your H would agree to watch S on shorter notice? You have a lot on your shoulders. I hope you can find some time to yourself to enjoy and take your mind off things.

[bluesgal]

BTW, I've read codependent no more. Very helpful material. I understand the need to detach, but what a difficult process!!

You do not sound whiney. You have a tough situation. We're here to vent and lean on each other. Hugs!

[lovethehub]

I am sorry you have to go through this. I have a son with special medical needs and I know how stressful it can be at times, days where you just want to give up because it is overwhelming. I don't have any words of wisdom on this but I am sending you hugs ((((hugs)))). Hang in there.

[JuneReN]

Hugs to you. That's it.

[juliegayle]

Thank you all for the support. It was a rough morning. My babysitter brought s to have lunch with me and when I got home we had a nice night. H got home and actually acted human for a few minutes but then seemed to remember he wasn't supposed to be nice. The speed of turn around was almost funny.

[juliegayle]

Back in the loony bin. H was stomping around house being really loud. I have been avoiding him all night but I was concerned about him waking s so asked him what he was looking for. He growled "my phone. " I knew exactly where it was. If he wasn't being so loud I would have left it but it seemed better for me and s to get it. Got it and gave it to him and he grabbed it like it was the most precious thing in the world and slammed the door in my face.

I am sure he thought I looked at it which I did not. And I think I practiced a little detachment. I thought "Oh you must be drunk and how awful it must be for you to be keeping so many secrets. " But I didn't say a word and notice that I am really not too bothered by the incident.