WORKING TOWARD CONNECTING WORKING ON ME

[Ambivalent]

Thanks Whiterose,

I'm dancing as fast as I can. Yeah, my oldest has so many issues, and I do find it very difficult to interact with her. At least now, she is not under the same roof. I love her but am detached.

There really are times I don't think of her at all. I wonder if this is normal for a mother, or if all the drama and trauma she has caused has just worn me out.

I getting there on detachment with H. Not quite to the not thinking about him point, though. I believe if I get there, there really will be no turning back for me. I can recall having these feelings with old bf's of mine. To this day, I would NEVER consider having them in my life.

Scary thought to spend a lifetime with someone, then feel nothing.

Thanks for the support, I am trying to be more brief in my communications.

I figured today was better, because he may be hanging around and watching the game. I could be wrong, but at least I'm not interrupting his work day.

Your are spot on about if he doesn't respond...I'll just go ahead and do what I've always done. I don't want the rest of the family wondering about us or being dumped because he is having issues.

They all were victims of their father's disappearance. It was hard on them and I don't want to put them in the middle of something that could trigger their trauma as children.

I want to be bigger than that. I want to show myself and my daughters that family is something that isn't thrown away. I want to keep on good terms, for one day my daughter (s) may get married. I don't want hostile feelings or to have an environment where everyone is uncomfortable.

I guess I'll give it a five day period and then proceed . I really want things to arrive on time, and I want not to have added stress of postal issues.

Busting on my friend, busting on!

Going to the gymn.

One day at a time, one moment in time.