BTW, I've read codependent no more. Very helpful material. I understand the need to detach, but what a difficult process!!

You do not sound whiney. You have a tough situation. We're here to vent and lean on each other. Hugs!

Me:33 H:35
M: 12 years
D-15 S-6
Bomb: 6-2013
OW: 11/2013
Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair
Kids and I moved back in 12/2013
H moved out 2/2014