Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

I am sure that there are people she is confiding in that are giving her advice. Family and friends alike. I cant control that. All I can do is present the best of me when I am around her and try and prove them wrong. She talks to my family but has asked me not to talk to her family and friends, which I am respecting her request, but it puzzles me why she would ask this of me. I told my family her wishes and they said not to request that same of her. They told her their door is always open to her if she needs anything. That is how my family has always been with the W and her family.

I know she sees the changes in me because she has told me so. I think she is just afraid that they temporary. Maybe her conflict is between what sees me becoming and what advice she is getting that says I will never change. Too much thinking on my part I know but without contact with her family and friends I have to rely on word of mouth from mutual friends telling them about changes I have made instead of my action speaking for themselves


Patience is a must, I get that but I also feel sometimes that I am not doing enough and the W will take that as me no longer caring or loving her and she will move on. I think her love languages are service and affection but right now I cant help her with these because we are S. This is why I feel good one moment and bad the next.

I wish that she could let her defenses down just a little so she may see how wonderful our M could be moving foward. The M and children are right her for the taking if she wants. I think her knowing this is allowing her to take her time and make sure what I am doing is for real but at the same time it is allowing for the chance that some sweet talker might come around and give her bad advice for his personal gain if you get my drift. That is why this is so frustrating.

I know I am not supposed to bring up R talks but sometimes I feel like that is what she wants me to do.

Iam just letting her drive the R right now because she has told before that I am controlling and smothering to her.

I dont know if she knows how to handle this lead position and might be looking for me to reassume the front position. I dont want this because I always thought I was treating the W as an equal and if I start driving the R it might be percieved as "more of the same" back to me being in control.


Any other advice or thoughts are truly welcomed.