Yes, Jan. is over, but for me, each month is a new chapter of painful memories and new challenges to work through. I cannot ignore the reality of this time period that I find myself going through.
However, it's also a time for new green things to sprout up from the ashes of last year, so I must carefully clear away the debris and nurture this new life. And because I'm still partially living in the past (not willingly) I must tread carefully.
I believe that I am suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome and that makes recovery a little bit more difficult than I had previously anticipated.
I know that this post must sound selfish and petty to those who are still working so hard to pull their R back together again. But I've found that there are others here who have reached the same level of DB success as I, yet they too suffer with simular after-effects. So I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone and/or just plain looney.
There is "piecing the marriage back together" and then there is "piecing oneself back together".
I'm so glad for those who are able to quickly let go of the past and well enough to move forward more directly and completely. I've got to clear a new path for myself with little more than a pocket knife, so ... it's going to take some time and patience.
And it is healing for me to hear that my story is helping others.
Hang in there and stay positive. Because, as you can see, many wonderful changes can and do happen.
