How to convince resistant LD wife?

[Ambivalent]

How old were you when your father abandoned you and what happened? Surely you are aware of the common scenario where a daughter in her early teens is abandoned by her father, and then she unwittingly chooses the same type of man to marry, only to be abandoned again?

I was in eighth grade and it played out through out my high school years.

My husband is opposite my father. I even chose him because of this, because he was somewhat more emotionally available. He was balding so early and I thought,..." well he won't go through a crisis from losing his hair..."

Ha!

I say this only because you seem to be giving your H more attention and effort than he deserves, and putting up with more and for a longer time than many women would

Isn't that what standing is about? My vows did say in sickness and in health, for better, for worse...

He is overwhelmed I know, and he never learned appropriate coping skills.

I am not going to deprive my daughters from him during the holidays. His brother is an innocent in all of this too. He is unmarried and we are his only family in the area. Every holiday has had him in attendance.

Come January I will probably take a different route.

I really have not interest in ever marrying again, so whatever happens happens. I may someday have a friend, but I don't want anything else.

Right now I'm trapped, I can't sell our home, it's under. I am stuck, and I feel very manipulated. I have no access to seeing the checking acct. and I can't just never talk to him again. I can't get a job with any pay 'till I pass my boards, which is sometime in January.

So here I sit, right where he wants me , but doesn't want me. There are times I want to scream and shout at him, yet what good will that accomplish?

Then there are all the lies...so it is difficult now, and I wonder " how does one ever get over the deceit? How does one respect someone who runs in a crisis, rather than address it?

So no, I won't be rushing into any relationship with anyone.