scared, confused, hopeful...

[bluesgal]

Julie-we have so much in common! This is the toughest thing I have ever been through. I can relate to you in so many ways.

I know you mentioned being worried about your husband knowing you were going to Al-anon. I've read your entire story today and can't help but notice that this could be a good opportunity for you. You are very responsible and seem to have routines.

Break/shake things up a bit. Go somewhere and be mysterious. Go to this meeting. When he asks, just say you are 'going out'. He's probably not used to hearing this for you.

My H has really taken notice of my 180 of GAL. I can feel the tables turning a bit. Research the subject of pursuit/distance on these forums. You are pursuing in many ways, just like me. It's hard to see when you're doing it because we are mothers/caretakers. We organize. BUT, our H see any of these behaviors as controlling right now. Try to make as many decisions without him as you can.

GAL outside your home when you can. Your H will really notice this and probably wonder what you are up to and that will get him thinking. All of a sudden you are NOT the person he had you pinned as.