I think I can stop this.... can you help me?

[2thepoint]

Fritz - I don't think it is uncommon for an emotional trauma like the death of a parent to trigger other crisis like that you are experiencing with your marriage. If your wife and her mother were close and now that person is gone, she may feel abandoned and doesn't trust that you can fill that void. She may also be feeling her own sense of mortality and need to go and LIVE LIFE!

You made comments previously about your lack of trust, by questioning where she is going and who she is talking to. Why is this a problem? Did something happen in the past to lead you to distrust her? The fact that she is doing the same to you, is that new or was the distrust mutual?

Marriage problems usually don't just crop up. There is usually an underlying cause and both parties are usually at fault. I've seen a lot of your comments about what you wife is doing, what she is saying, how she is behaving, etc. That is all good to know as it provides context. But I don't think you've shared much about the marital dynamics at play prior to the bomb. Or your role in getting to that point.

That is not to say that you have to necessarily tell us. But, it is an area that you need to explore within yourself. Because, if you want to right this ship, you have to understand where and how things went wrong. And, you have to make permanent adjustments to your own behavior if you have a hope of repairing your marriage.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, you seem to be doing and saying all the right things but I have to wonder if there isn't a part of you that wants out. I say this only because you seemed very quick to call it a day early after bomb day. Maybe I am misreading but that is how it comes across to me.

Anyway, these are all things you need to explore within yourself. Continue to DB, seek guidance from others, do your 180's but most importantly, work on yourself.