After some promising comments W made last week, this week she made almost no contact until today. She took off the first few days from work. I emailed her once or twice, but she typically didn’t respond. I called her Wednesday just to see how she was doing and she said she was in a foul mood. I didn’t ask why. There was no contact Thursday. Friday I tried emailing her a joke, to which she responded I must be drunk. When I asked her for an explanation, she said I never tried to be funny before (which is not true). She would later tell me that she spent the entire week watching all the Harry Potter films on TV (in no particular order) and playing video games.
Today she emailed me asking if she could stop by the house, but understood if I wasn’t there. I told her she could visit. After she arrived and started petting the cat, she started talking about us (something new). However, it was just a retread of all her past arguments and examples of past blame. In no particular order: things would go back the way they were if she returned; I blamed her for everything; she can’t give me what I want (children); I didn’t respect her; I made her feel terrible; I made it so she didn’t want to come back to the house; all I wanted her for was sex; she didn’t earn enough money; etc. Since what I have been doing hasn’t been working, I tried sharing how I felt or what I was thinking when those things happened. There were so few breaks in her diatribe, I didn’t get to say much. She referred to it as “our argument,” but there were no heated exchanges or name calling. I didn’t blame or get upset. After an hour or so of this, the conversation went back to her venting about work. She let me know she is going “home” for Christmas and assumed I was doing the same. I told her no, that I made other plans (nothing more). When she finally got up to leave, she indicated she needed more of the clothes she left at the house. After gathering a few sweaters, she made some comment about how she hasn’t picked up all her things because she doesn’t want to do it with me here. She then got in her car to leave, looked at me, and said, “What? We talked about crap.” Crap being our relationship.
