I think I can stop this.... can you help me?

[2thepoint]

I have a question for others out there. Is it possible that she wants me to chase her, she wants me to talk to her? I'm not going to, but in the past that is what I always did and what she always expected. But sometimes I wonder if by not doing that am I making things worse? Sometimes I think that my "new" reactions to the situation are causing her reactions. Like maybe that is the reason she is being so distant, because I'm not making myself available to her as I have in the past. Just kinda confused right now...

This is possible but then you'd be pursuing and she may push back and then how would you feel about that? See, it is kind of like a cat and mouse game right now. She sees you maybe drifting away some and wants to make sure you are still hanging around, so she tosses you a few crumbs to see if you'll bite.

I'd recommend you stick to what you are doing. You seem to be saying and doing all the right things, setting firm boundaries, validating, etc. So time will tell. Also, if you hope to make it work, continue setting those boundaries, but be careful not to shut any doors. What I mean by that is to avoid statements like "one more try". These things have a tendency of solidifying things in peoples minds and if you really hope to reconcile, you need to avoid that sort of thing.

Some of her statements sound like she is perhaps having second thoughts. Keep on your path. Stick to your boundaries and stay in the home. And see where things lead.