How to convince resistant LD wife?

[Ambivalent]

How does this fact strike you? If you're an adult, you most likely have no more decades left to live than there are fingers on ONE HAND! That's not much. That thought alone is enough to trigger some people into an MLC, I'd think.

You may be right. As a woman, I dealt with this much earlier. Women deal with their looks fading. My husband always looked older than I.

Now even more so. He looks like he is in his 60's and he is 55. I am 53, and look like I'm in my early 40's. This from many people and even my daughter's sorority sisters.

Anyway, I just couldn't do to him what he is doing.

He is living in a condo two hours away from me. It is in a major Met. area. He is paying all the bills on where we lived and I'm getting pressure to work another job while I'm going to school.

I am starting to resent this, because HE is making all the decisions about us. I live in limbo, and he hasn't figured out that I'm not what is making him unhappy. He is unhappy and needs to work on himself.

I have never depended on him for happiness, and I always kept myself content, busy, and was never clingy.

Since his testosterone has dropped, he all of a sudden wants what I have wanted for years! Connectedness. Someone to do things with. Before it was always his guy friends.

Rather than explore things together it is the running away that is just so crappy.

I am feeling angry today. I have just gone through Thanksgiving with him in attendance. And then he leaves...

It is so painful, and I don't know if I will ever ever trust again. Trust anyone with my heart and soul. Trust anyone with my feelings or intimacy.

This is the second most painful abandonment I've experienced. My father was the first.

So all those voices in our heads come back again. I am tired of being strong, changing, working on me. I've been doing that my whole life.

I am so ripe right now for someone to walk into my life. I love my girls, and my husband, but I don't know how much more rejection I can take.

If I could walk away and never contact him again I believe I'd do it right now.

Problem is , I'm dependent and I'm in my own prison. The lovely antique home I enjoyed has become laborious, and a reminder of what I no longer have.

I just don't understand how an individual can walk out and not make a decision. If you feel so bad that you leave, why do you hold on ? How can someone be this cruel to someone they shared 33 years of their life?