Hey Friends! So glad to hear from all of you! yay!
Aj thank you so much for your words. I now feel validated and grounded again. It helps so much to come here and find that we really aren't crazy! Just are unfortunately stuck with craziness no matter how hard we try to deflect or avoid it.
Well in lieu of the Holiday's AJ I hope your ex does bother you a tad bit so you can file a harassment charge! In fact Im kinda hoping my ex will email me some more nonsense so I can tell him to leave me alone and act like a real parent and call his children instead of all this texting crap!
One thing that I wanted to get opinions on, is that ever since XH found out I was involved with someone else, he started making himself known again. He does it in a way that would appear innocent and without motive, but see that's how XH is. Act like he's your friend, and act like a fly on the wall and listen carefully. However during the last few months he's blown a gasket about how I'm better off financially than he is and has asked for a financial over view through the child support office. But between spewing, he "acts" like the nice person he once was. Oh wise LBSers, what ever does this mean?
About two months ago I met him at McDonalds to drop off the kids for the weekend. The girls were famished, and wanted something to eat. However I know he makes a big deal out of making dinner for them when he has them, so out of respect for his dinner plans I decided to let him know I was going to get them a few sandwhiches to tide them over till dinner. When I walked over to the driver's side, he opened the door and the look that he gave me almost stopped me dead in my tracks. He looked MISERABLE. I haven't seen that miserable look in a couple years. He looked exhausted, frustrated, on the verge of tears, and even angry too. I just walked up to him and said "Hi. The girls are really hungry and I was going to get them something to eat if that doesn't conflict with dinner plans". He just sat there and looked at me with this blank confused look, then literally kind of shook his head and PRESTO CHANGE O he smiled at me and said " oh ok!" He then proceeded to light up like a Christmas tree, was smiling and we actually visited for about 10 minutes. Then all the sudden it's like something else switched and in mid sentence he started up his truck while talking and put it in reverse before the girls could say good bye to me. That's also the time he told me that his 357 gun was the only one he had left.
That exchange has bothered me ever since. I've always tried to make it a point to be cordial if and when it's needed and appropriate. However I've really developed quite an attitude when it comes to communicating with him. Quite frankly I don't want him speaking to me unless I speak to him first, unless it's of course very necessary. Well He's been contacting me first for the most trivial stupid crap that he knows damn well he can figure out on his own without involving me.
I've noticed something else in regards to alot of resentment and anger I still hold towards him. Im mentally engaged in a game of one upmanship with him! GASP! yes I am doing this! Why? Well I guess because this whole situation from start to present has left me feeling SO POWERLESS, that one good way to feel self satisfied is when I know I have one up on him! Im still keeping score! What the hell is wrong with me now? I know better than this. I normally don't ever do this. Im not a competitive person! Yet when it comes to that man I lose all sense and sensibility if I don't strive to keep my emotions in check and managed.
So AJ how do we score this one is MLC golf? This could be fun giving im into score keeping now! Lol
