I think I can stop this.... can you help me?

[Fitz]

Yes this roller coaster ride is terrible. It continued for me yesterday. I was at work and W called me and asked if I had plans for tonight. I told her I didn't. She asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with her and our son, she said she thought I would be fun. I said sure, that sounds great.

When I got home from work our son was napping. She started talking to me, and she was all over the place with the things she was saying. First she asked why we couldn't just meet with a mediator instead of hiring lawyers. I just told her that I didn't care to meet with either. Then she asked me why I stopped wearing my wedding ring. I told her that I knew she had taken it and put it somewhere when I had taken it off one day, and I don't know where she put it. More talk from her about separating. She asked me why I wouldn't be the one to leave. I just told her that this wasn't my idea and I want to stay in my home. If she wants to leave that's her choice. More talk from her about how things have just gotten so awful between us, about how the trust was gone. She geared up a lot talking about how hard this whole year had been since she had lost her mother and then all of the issues that we had been having. I just listened and validated, although inside I wanted to argue and defend. She told me that she will never be the same person that she was. Told me she loves me and wishes we could have a future together but she didn't see any way that was possible.

Finally she asked me what my thoughts were. I tried to be as honest with her as I could without sounding like I was begging or chasing her. I just told her that I have unfinished emotional business with her and that I don't want to leave and then regret my decision without trying first. That I still believed in love and that I didn't see us so much as having several problems, but more like having one big problem that started 6 months ago that we never really got over. She asked me what I wanted to do and I told her that I wanted to give it one last shot.

Part of me felt like I got through to her a little. But part of me also felt like what I said went in one ear and out the other and that she didn't care to hear anything that I had to say.

The three of us went to dinner. We had a pleasant time, mostly just enjoying watching our son.

After dinner we came home and I have my son a bath and put him to bed. She had to go to her grandparents house down the street to help her grandmother get her grandfather into bed (he's disabled and confused). She was gone for about an hour, she had called me and told me that they were having trouble getting him to cooperate.

I was exhausted at that point but wanted to stay awake to see her when she got home. I felt like we may have been building a little bit today, we had talked and spent more time together than we had in the previous month combined, and I didn't want to fall asleep and miss anything just in case.
When she got home she was exhausted too. She told me about her grandparents, I just listened.

We got ready for sleep, she told me that it's ok if I sleep in the bed too (I've been on the couch for weeks now). I hugged her and told her that separated people don't sleep in the same bed. She just looked at me. I said I know this isn't going to be easy, and I know I'm not going to be just given back the husband privileges that I had, but I look forward to earning them.