Thanks Kimmerz. I'm doing very well. Thanks for asking.
Quote:
And the reason Im feeling this, is because he's starting up with his antics again. Didn't I hear MLCERS get cooky during the Holidays?
Yes, the holidays brings out the crazy in most people. At least those with "tendencies" LOL.
Don't feel bad. Mine does the same thing. It's been years for me, although not nearly as long as others. She hasn't gone more than 2 months without finding a reason to contact me, or abuse or whatever she thinks she's doing. I'm literally one email away from filing a harassment charge against her. I'm secretly (not a secret any longer) hoping I'll get one more this season. It'll be my Christmas present to me
And it's the same. She's trying to insert herself in the conversation between me and her daughter. She seems to use those exchanges as a way to express her happiness and how pathetic everything was. Essentially, she tries to express her anger at me. I've taken to not responding unless it is absolutely necessary. That's hard for me, because I'm a responsive person in most cases. But I've learned over the years that you can't fix crazy and no matter what I say it will only lead to frustration for me as she twists it around and tells me how happy she is.
The holidays. I really do enjoy them. And I don't let her silliness get in the way of that. I figure it's just par for the course.
You're in good company, sister.
Just a side thought - ever hear of Frisbee golf? I'm thinking we could do something similar except we'll call it MLC-spew golf. You'll score points based on what your MLCr throws at you or how they try to contact/insert themselves in your life. We could score it by pulling from the "script" and making each hole have certain key phrases to score points.
Just thinking out loud
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Hey Friends! So glad to hear from all of you! yay!
Aj thank you so much for your words. I now feel validated and grounded again. It helps so much to come here and find that we really aren't crazy! Just are unfortunately stuck with craziness no matter how hard we try to deflect or avoid it.
Well in lieu of the Holiday's AJ I hope your ex does bother you a tad bit so you can file a harassment charge! In fact Im kinda hoping my ex will email me some more nonsense so I can tell him to leave me alone and act like a real parent and call his children instead of all this texting crap!
One thing that I wanted to get opinions on, is that ever since XH found out I was involved with someone else, he started making himself known again. He does it in a way that would appear innocent and without motive, but see that's how XH is. Act like he's your friend, and act like a fly on the wall and listen carefully. However during the last few months he's blown a gasket about how I'm better off financially than he is and has asked for a financial over view through the child support office. But between spewing, he "acts" like the nice person he once was. Oh wise LBSers, what ever does this mean?
About two months ago I met him at McDonalds to drop off the kids for the weekend. The girls were famished, and wanted something to eat. However I know he makes a big deal out of making dinner for them when he has them, so out of respect for his dinner plans I decided to let him know I was going to get them a few sandwhiches to tide them over till dinner. When I walked over to the driver's side, he opened the door and the look that he gave me almost stopped me dead in my tracks. He looked MISERABLE. I haven't seen that miserable look in a couple years. He looked exhausted, frustrated, on the verge of tears, and even angry too. I just walked up to him and said "Hi. The girls are really hungry and I was going to get them something to eat if that doesn't conflict with dinner plans". He just sat there and looked at me with this blank confused look, then literally kind of shook his head and PRESTO CHANGE O he smiled at me and said " oh ok!" He then proceeded to light up like a Christmas tree, was smiling and we actually visited for about 10 minutes. Then all the sudden it's like something else switched and in mid sentence he started up his truck while talking and put it in reverse before the girls could say good bye to me. That's also the time he told me that his 357 gun was the only one he had left.
That exchange has bothered me ever since. I've always tried to make it a point to be cordial if and when it's needed and appropriate. However I've really developed quite an attitude when it comes to communicating with him. Quite frankly I don't want him speaking to me unless I speak to him first, unless it's of course very necessary. Well He's been contacting me first for the most trivial stupid crap that he knows damn well he can figure out on his own without involving me.
I've noticed something else in regards to alot of resentment and anger I still hold towards him. Im mentally engaged in a game of one upmanship with him! GASP! yes I am doing this! Why? Well I guess because this whole situation from start to present has left me feeling SO POWERLESS, that one good way to feel self satisfied is when I know I have one up on him! Im still keeping score! What the hell is wrong with me now? I know better than this. I normally don't ever do this. Im not a competitive person! Yet when it comes to that man I lose all sense and sensibility if I don't strive to keep my emotions in check and managed.
So AJ how do we score this one is MLC golf? This could be fun giving im into score keeping now! Lol
Not sure yet how to keep score. Was just spittballing. We'll have to give it a bit more thought and find some t-shirts or something..
Funny. My dad I were talking yesterday. He mentioned some pictures on my son's FB page he was looking at and said he saw one of my daughter and "some gaunt woman" next to her. I LOL. I said, yeah that's the ex. He knows a lot of what has transpired, but he was a bit shocked.
They do that.
The one upmanship? That's your bruised ego and you trying to protect yourself. I did that for a while. Until I stopped I barely noticed it. A friend pointed it out. Like you, that's not my normal MO. I've made a concentrated effort to NOT do that. I made a promise to myself to not bring up her past to her. Believe me, right now that's very difficult as she continues to try things. Been like that all year. What's the DB mantra? If something's not working - stop and do something else! For me, that means letting that stuff go from the foreground. I realize it happened. I realize it hurt. I realize all that. But it will keep going if I let it, and it keeps me trapped. I don't like that. It doesn't work for ME. No matter how innocent she tries to make it sound, it's always laced with "something". And I know better than to trust her about anything. Anywhere other than these boards, people would be surprised by what she's said and done. LOL.
Disengage, Kimmerz. It's very liberating for YOU and it'll make the crazy and self-doubt go away. Try it. You can always change if that doesn't work.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
