J, I know what you're going through. Believe me, I've walked in those shoes. It's not easy. Heck, it's harder than that.
But don't give up and lose your perspective. You can't know what's ahead. You can't know what choices will be made - by either of you. Your perspective right now is looking down the road and wondering where it all leads. You can't know.
What you do know is what you're about. You do know what impact you're having on your son - and it's good on both counts. That is important!!! What she is doing? That's NOT important. That's just filler in the grand scheme of things.
Look. You can get off this ride any time you want. And I mean that. You can. She can't. Your kids can't. But you can. You could walk away now and nobody would think badly about you for doing it. But for what? For what "might" happen according to your feelings? I doubt you'll be happy about that very long. It's not who you are.
Be you. Be the man you are becoming each day. Be the father you've become. Be the husband you've become. Let your W figure herself out. If she does and comes back, I doubt it'll be anything you could dream up - it'll be better. If she doesn't, you'll be more than fine and you'll know you stuck it out when most people would not. And believe me, that's worth a tremendous amount to you, your kids, their kids and in a strange way (right now) even your W.
Today is not what is at stake. Think longer term and remember you always have choices. Remember that what she's doing at the moment is only part of the symptoms of what she's going through. Remember that you are all that stands between your kids and her in her current state of mind. Remember the changes you are doing for YOU - those are regardless of what she does, says, or thinks.
Years from now, this will look different to you. This moment in time will be part of a much larger picture. How do you want your part painted?
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
