hi every one- so this is what is happening. when we first were married my wife had four different affairs in the first year. then nothing for the next twenty-four years. we worked at are marriage all the time, but it was not perfect. Then in December we had a argument over money and she left for a few weeks. I became severely depressed, so i think she felt bad and came home. but she had already started looking on Craig's list for other men which she started having physical relations with. i found out and she stopped and we started going to counseling. My wife was a victim sexual abuse and sexual assault. it makes me sick to hear her tell the small details. anyway she started going to abuse counseling at a crisis center. and soon I was being accused of being verbally abusive to her. I did have a anger problem when I was stressed, but worked on getting it under control to where I was doing good about not raising my voice when I was upset. but she acted like it was just yesterday that I had been like this to her, I was never mean to her or called her names, just yelled when I as upset, but that was years ago, with the exception of the fight in December which lasted less than five minutes and I apologized to her for yelling. so her accusation took me by surprise. So as she is doing this counseling I had to keep apologizing for stuff I had dealt with years ago, this lasted our twenty-fifth anniversary when she confessed to having another affair with my daughters best friends father. At that time she was heart broken and acted like she was committed to working on the marriage as she did twenty-four years ago, so I forgave as before and moved on. In our marriage we had four beautiful children the youngest is now sixteen. and she was a stay at home mother for most of that time by her choice.she is a good and loving mother so this crisis has taken us by surprise. At the end of July she went to spend time with a friend and never came home. I did all the things a LBS does when they don't know what is happening. and since I started reading this site I realized that it was all the things not to do. any ways she started telling me, she loves me, but not as a husband anymore. she said she was going to stay with some friends in the city and start a new life. I asked her if she had a new male friend and she became defensive and asked why there has to be another man for her to get a life. It turned out that this was more than I could handle. I spent the month of September in a hospital before they felt I was no longer a danger to myself. When I was released, I found out there was another man and she had move into his place and he was every thing I was not. and her time line for being unhappy went from a couple of years to the entire marriage. By the end of October she had stop seeing "Paul" and now seeing "Larry" and "the marine" all are very good men and financially secure according to her, which at this time I am not because of what is going on with us. I am not positive, but I think she is physical with both. and still making sexual advances toward me. when i found this site i started going dark to her and it started helping me get a life but she would start talking about us and i would go lite only to have her run back to new loves this thanks giving she was really making statements that she was having second thoughts so I went lite. she made arrangements to have me get her on a Sunday morning ,then Sunday night, then Monday morning, then finally she made a commitment for Tuesday night. we get she comes back to the house to stay until the following Tuesday to be with the family. the day before thanks giving she says a girl friend is in town and she has not seen her for twenty-four years and she wants to spend the evening with her at her hotel room so she goes and stays the night. then thanks giving day she says she wants to go home Saturday instead of Tuesday. her one male friend has Sunday and Monday off from what I can tell. This is getting long but that's the summery of what has happened to date. I'm trying different things, but I don't know after what happened thank giving day, if I can or should try and wait for her to do what she has to do, I'm working on myself getting my life back, but she is still doing the same old things and blaming me for not changing and keeps telling me I will never change. I love her dearly, but this hurts more than anything I have been through. Thanks for reading, my apologies for making it in to a book
