Sometimes it seems to me the cost of waiting some of these MLC'ers out can simply be too high. Plenty of the vets here have themselves pulled the plug on their M's. We should never be willing to give up ourselves and who we are to save a M. That just won't work long term.
Kind of a catch-22 isn't it? I mean, if you pull the plug, are you being you? If you keep it like it is, are you being you? Either way, I'd say no, you are not.
He is obviously thinking about some things. He's in that "I'm not worthy because of what I've done" sort of mindset. And yet, he's trying to dig himself out of it as well, thinking about the future.
While I'd say wait, I'm not suggesting the status quo is going to work either. I think you are doing fine with the boundaries - you told him he can't have both. And you mean it from what I can tell.
What's your play? I'd say keep going the way you are. GAL, live your life, keep your boundaries and defend them (be prepared to only pick the ones you're willing to die on the hill for of course) and keep patient. He's baking, but he's not done, is he?
You won't let it get to the point of going farther than you're able to go. Willing perhaps, but able won't happen. You won't let it.
Hang in there.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
