Levity is always good. In survival classes, I learned that two of the top things that survivors had was:
a.) Accepted the reality of their situation. b.) Maintained a sense of humor, even if a wee bit "dark".
Looks like we're doing something right here...
I made an awesome T-day dinner, except I bought the pies this year, just felt I wanted that little bit of relief.
W was depressed and "off", so she went into her work to prep more for the big sale today, get more merchandise on the floor. She left her mobile at home charging. She called when she got there, wanting me to be sure to tell S3 that she was sorry she didnt say good-bye. I called her a couple times to ask if I could use "X" or "Y" in the meal. She picked up the second time and told me that when I first called the first time, she was on a couch in the store, sleeping/crying. I showed empathy. I wanted to have the dinner earlier, but she wanted it later, so, hey no problem, I can adjust. When I ended the convo I just said " See you when you get here..." No "parental reminders" or anything like I used to do.
So dinner time rolls around, she is on time (normally she is "last minute"/late kind of person, and I am "if you're 5 minutes early, you're late" kind of person). She still not in a great place, but she was trying so hard...then her and S1 got into it about letting the dog in during the meal. I, stupidly, intervened, because as S1 was "right", his delivery was awful and was not sitting well at all with W. I saw right where this was heading....So I tried to say, in a W friendly fashion, what s1 was saying...I am fairly sure she felt ganged up on, but that's mindreading from the past things she has said...she left and went to the bathroom for the whole meal.
But dinner went on as normal. S1 had a couple friends over, so us 6 boys ate a mess of food, joked, laughed...naturally, with 6 boys all together, I had to re-direct some of the convos sliding quickly downhill... lmao!
Later, I had yet another talk with S1 about how to talk with Mom. And when she did come out she was laying on the couch, and I went and apologized to her, saying I was wrong to get in the middle, etc.
But, it wasn't bad overall, at all. Certainly better than the first T-day during mlc 2 years ago, last years' I don't really remember, I think I was worn-out from the cooking, and my work always gets busy before the holidays with customers making last changes before they leave things alone through the holidays.
So, 3rd mlc holiday season almost done...whoop!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
You did a stellar job, T^2. Handled everything perfectly! The food, the boys and the W!
I'm so impressed!
And it's a relief to have it done, isn't it? Now on to Christmas!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
T2, I think you did an excellent job w/the dinner and everything else that was going on. I'm sorry your w hid in the bathroom, but maybe it was just a bit too much fun and laughter going on for her. Maybe by going into work for a bit helped to settle her down because she needed some quite time. Whatever the reason, she should be very thankful that she had all of her "boys" there and a nice meal too.
Another one down and one more big one to come. You are doing wonderfully and I do enjoy coming and reading the progress that you are making both on you and your relationship.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wow. You're quite the man and do your gender proud!! I'm sorry she was in the bathroom but it sounds like you and the kiddos had good laughs and fun.
Onward and upward, right?
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Thank you folks...you know, I just accepted what was, where she was at, what the holidays can do and rolled with it. Of course I was slightly annoyed at S1, just couldn't manage his tone...and annoyed at myself for getting in the middle...
Research on depression, what folks have shared on here about depression, really helped see that she wasn't doing well, and give her space with no judgement.
And me admitting I was wrong didn't hurt either, I reckon...
(Amazingly, it didn't hurt me either...)
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Hey Wonka-wonk! Nope, spilled the green bean casserole on the damned clipboard, again! There's always next year, right?
Just a rolled with the day...
I haven't posted any lyrics in a while, this was playing on Black Friday (which I stayed at home, far down in the introvert man-cave...far, far away from anything shopping, and crowds... ), I cranked it up, an old favorite of me and the boys....we jammed
We are the Champions -Queen
I've paid my dues Time after time I've done my sentence But committed no crime And bad mistakes I've made a few I've had my share of sand Kicked in my face But I've come through
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting Till the end We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions of the World
I've taken my bows And my curtain calls You brought me fame and fortune And everything that goes with it I thank you all But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise I consider it a challenge before The whole human race And I ain't gonna lose
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting Till the end We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions of the World
We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting Till the end We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions
Rock on Garth...! Party on Wayne!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Loud and Proud my friend! If we learn anything here in this terrible world we all live in, it's that we can become winners in this horrible game MLC us playing with us. Coolest thing is that we can become champions and it doesn't even matter what the other party does.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
