Wed night H drove home about Mid, 5hrs late, and sat in the car. This is his way of excepting that he was wrong.
I saw him out there as I went to greet my future DIL and he opened the car door. I said, nice that you went to EA's, and nice that you are out here, stay out here. He did...until 6am.
He came in the house, made hot coffee and proceed to clean the kitchen from the last nights baking.
We had a brief convo where he said, he drove EA to her dad's for an hour, than drove her to the bar, where he sat outside in the car so she could have a ride home. He's done this before. She was soo drunk by the end she reamed him for being a stupid simple man who doesn't come in and drink. She does that often.
He feels he has to help tho. He began to say he doesn't want to have a life with her, just be there at times for her. Of course I pulled out my no, and then we will be done.
My question is this. He fought to stay in our home, saying I don't want to leave, I know you have every right to make me, but this is my home and my family.
Is there some good to having him say this? He is actually defending his home and family. Does this help in any way for a WAS to "see" and quietly contemplate?
Not that I was pressing him, or pushing him out the door, it was a mutual convo.
Their always pushing for their freedom, space, OP, is this a good push on their part.
BTW. He spoke of a future with us getting a bigger house and renting this one, and so on, as I looked on bewildered that he doesn't get it, he will loose me if we continue status quo.
H did not join us at the table Thur. after helping as sous chef and domestic, by his choice in silence. As he escaped into my room he waved gently good-by while closing the door, when I got to the door he said he does not feel righteous enough to sit at our table. He needs to lay and be within himself, if he even has himself.
A few hours later I brought the grandson in for H to see and he was attentive to him. Babies bring that out.
We had a nice family dinner and game night while H listened on in the next room.
I still can't understand if there is a future here. I know all the right advice, GAL, go ahead with myself, but he's here, it's not easy to ignore, and I am not fully detached from someone I am M too and living with.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
