I know you have a lot going on in these posts but I want to comment on one thing for now. Your daughters diagnose. Congratulations seems wrong word but it is a good thing to get the diagnosis. Now all interventions can be focused in the right direction.

I will be following your upcoming posts as we are in a somewhat similar situation. My son has a number of diagnosis including significant anxiety. (He also has sensory issues). I feel, and S docs back me up, that shuffling back and forth between 2 homes will be very detrimental to his progress. H doesn't want to hear this as it does not fit into his plans.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15