I'm very glad you went to visit your mom and visited w/the residents at the home. It means a lot to folks if someone stops by to visit, even if they aren't family and especially during the holidays.
As for your w, she's still in Fog Town and she's going to be there quite some time. As for her repeating things after someone has said them...it's her way of reminding herself what others have said. It's the depression talking. Holidays are tough on mlcers and spouses alike. Holidays are reminders of happier times in the past and right now, she's not in a very happy place, i.s., she's quite miserable w/herself. I would make sure that I had some new traditions in place between now and Christmas and be sure you do something fun for you and the boys. There is no need for you and the boys to be down in the dumps or walking on egg shells at Christmas. If she opts to join in on the fun...the more the merrier. If she doesn't...it's her loss.
The most important thing is to take care of you and your boys right now. The man upstairs will do the rest, i.e., taking care of your wife.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
