Well he texted and said he would be out of town the day I was there. He is not confident enough to turn up with the OW Melissa. He is taking great pains to keep us very separate. He does not want me to visit his apartment because he might have a visitor..which is fine by me Not sure what it would serve to meet anyway.. My hope is she is out of our lives ASAP. faint hope but that is my wish I was sorted of disappointed but then saw it was an opportunity and wrote thanks for letting me know I can now plan something fun with my friends.
Was that the right approach?
I am confused I think with the contact thing... The advice is not to be total no contact but brief and light and friendly. People who have been here when you are living apart... how do you monitor that . I have to be totally not controlling - which I believe for him means asking what he has been doing, how was his weekend, plans for the week actually anything about his life... so what do we have conversations about.?
Anyone been in this position and what did you do about it? What helped to make the conversations more natural?
I wonder should I be posting in the infidelity forum? Some of his friends now know about the affair? Bad news or good news for the M. I have not made demands about the OW, obviously he knows it has damaged me...demands are controlling. I must not be controlling of him and his actions.
He said the marriage was over before the affair- as they all do. Do they usually revise their view later after the affair is over? Or is that a position they stick to or is it too individual to say.
His issues with me are events in the past where he believes I betrayed his trust, or he can not believe I the things I say as true... any thoughts on a 180 on those issues while we don't see each other often?
