Reaching out for support and advice!!

[juliegayle]

Hi. I'm glad you decided to reach out today. I am finding the holiday to be more stressful than I expected.

As Melissa said just focus on having a good time tonight. Have no expectations of how H will act.

My H also blames me for everything. Even though I know that is not true I have found myself slipping into believing it at times. I have gotten very good advice on the board to just listen and shut up. I have been advised to validate but not accept all blame. Say things like "I am sorry you are feeling. ." But not "you are right I am sorry I ..." I am about 6 weeks in and still find myself wanting to reason with H and convince him he is wrong about me. Doesn't work. In the past few days I have diffused a few bad situations by remembering to think and act rather than react.

Keep posting. Everyone here has been through something similar and all are at different stages of the journey. You will find comfort, support and advice.