NEW LIFE / NEW ME - AIRBORNE II

[Fartiltre]

Woke up and felt so great this morning – like just taking life in!
I am feeling good after yesterday and definitely in an up.

My day was planned and pretty busy.
A local friend is working from his homeoffice and we have been talking about him joining me at my office. Today he did. We don’t do anything together in regards of work but just getting out was great for him and I have the possibility to offer him this. He is from England and don’t know that many people here.

When I came to the office W texted:

Hey
2 times [name] is ready for the swimmingpool. They are looking so much forward to this.
D4 get so sad when I set her off at kindergarten these days. It makes me a little sad and gives a very bad start on a new day.
The case for the glasses is at kindergarten. I have spoken with the adult and told them that it is OK for her to take them off and have a break from the glasses some times during the day. It was major for her to show the glasses off, but it might have been a little too much..?
See you tomorrow
Have a nice day.
W

([Name] represent the name of D4. Her best friend has the same name.)

I didn’t answer.

I should have picked up D4 (out of schedule) and her friend but the friend got ill and D4 wanted to go home – no swimming but a nice evening!

The picture I posted yesterday got more likes from Ws family today and also one from MIL and SIL. That’s the first sign of life from them since summer.
I am not reading anything in to all of this in regards of R/M but these people responding does mean something to me. It means that the dividing of friends and family isn’t as big as it could be! If R is ever to happen that’s good! Me going LRT, telling W we can’t be friends and W getting pi$$ed might have eased off a bit. It doesn’t mean I won’t continue exactly what I am doing.



Yesterday I faced the monster within me! I now truly know that my outmost biggest fear is not in my surroundings – he is inside me and he is a part of me at the moment! I stared him in the eyes and while feeling extremely good about this - it still gives me the shivers. It was an amazing experience! I know my monster better and will try to define him, keep him away and hopefully bury him totally at some point! It frightens me to carry him around but knowing him makes me able to fight him and fight him I will!

Today I have put little green Yoda’s wise words in my sig and I will put them on my wall at home:
Do or do not – there’s no try.
I can and will do this and I am not talking about getting W back. I am talking about making and keeping the new me and if W doesn’t want this guy that’s her loss.


Thanksgiving isn’t a part of the culture here but anyhow I would like to say thank you to all the caring people in here! You saved me and I truly hope that you knowing this makes you feel a little better. So when you close your eyes tonight be aware that somewhere around the world is a man that owes you his sanity!
Gratitude!!