Surprised my mom at work this morning. I spent over an hour going from room to room down her wing of the nursing home visiting with folks. Met some really sweet ladies who were really happy to see a smiling face. Gave hugs, got kissed, got told how good looking a boy I was, told ladies how beautiful they were. Great morning. Even got 2 hugs from my mother. Big deal for her to do that. I think I genuinely surprised her today. Heck, I genuinely surprised myself. Old JFun would have laid in front of the TV waiting on the big meal. Today I am thankful for the opportunity I've been given to become a better man.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Rest of the day was pretty yuck. W basically ignored me and was cold throughout our meal and shopping afterwards. Had the audacity to say "You didn't watch that movie last night, did you?" This was after I told her what I was going to watch as soon as the boys were put to bed. I told her " you are welcome to join me." When I put the boys to bed, I even went by her room and let her know I had put them to bed. Not only did she skip bedtime ritual again, she completely ignored my invite. I expected that part last night, but not to act offended because I went ahead and watched it without her.
I think W's new thing the last couple of days is now just being completely oblivious to things around her. Today, on 3 different occasions, she pipped up and repeated something one if us had said less than a minute after we had said it ourselves. One time S12 and I caught ourselves looking at one another and shaking our heads. Then, she almost backed over a woman in the parking lot and screamed at me because I didn't tell her she was there. Oh yes, I sit in the back if the van when MIL rides with us. W can't stand to let me drive. She feigned motion sickness BS for several years and I drove for my job during the week so I didn't mind her driving on the weekends. Now, anytime I get in the driver's seat to take us anywhere, she asks "Why are you driving?" It's not about my driving, I have a spotless record. It's about her control of everything.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
BTW, I took W's hand today for the first time in over 2 months and told her I Loved her. I said, "I haven't told you in a while and just didn't want you to forget." I didn't wait on a response. I said it & left her laying on her bed to do whatever she's gonna do.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
I am glad you went and visited your mom at work, it sounds like that was a good experience and a great change.
Wish your Thanksgiving with W could have been nicer, but at least you just got cold. Mine involved shouting and H not eating dinner with us. So, it could be worse. Be thankful for what you got.
Here's to hoping we all get better Thanksgivings next time around.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
I'm very glad you went to visit your mom and visited w/the residents at the home. It means a lot to folks if someone stops by to visit, even if they aren't family and especially during the holidays.
As for your w, she's still in Fog Town and she's going to be there quite some time. As for her repeating things after someone has said them...it's her way of reminding herself what others have said. It's the depression talking. Holidays are tough on mlcers and spouses alike. Holidays are reminders of happier times in the past and right now, she's not in a very happy place, i.s., she's quite miserable w/herself. I would make sure that I had some new traditions in place between now and Christmas and be sure you do something fun for you and the boys. There is no need for you and the boys to be down in the dumps or walking on egg shells at Christmas. If she opts to join in on the fun...the more the merrier. If she doesn't...it's her loss.
The most important thing is to take care of you and your boys right now. The man upstairs will do the rest, i.e., taking care of your wife.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks job. Pretty blah all around yesterday. W decided to go out shopping with friends last night and didn't get in til 4:30 am. I spent the morning fixing a couple of things on my truck and just brought her van to get the oil changed. Almost 1:00 pm here and W hasn't seen her sons yet today. Laying in the bed acting like she's asleep when I went up to get my wallet and keys. Feigning sleep while she's got her phone in her hand under the covers.
BTW, I bought another copy of the movie "Fireproof" while we were out yesterday. I want to give it to a younger friend who I think could get something out of it. W saw it and grilled me about why I bought another one. "I hope you're not giving that to me." "Who are you buying that for?" "You are do secretive lately." I bought a book as well and got "What are you buying, another book on marriage or something? Don't you have enough to read?" Literally mocking me with a smarta$$ smile on her face. DBing took over instead of anger. I just told her who I was buying the movie for and told her that I liked reading and trying to get better at life.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Fireproof is an excellent movie and it does give the viewer something to think about.
As for your w, leave her be. She wants to play hide and seek and be Ms. Princess...so be it. Spend the day doing things that you feel you need to do and also spend time w/your sons.
She'll find out soon enough that life doesn't revolve around her.
Continue to as you have been.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Being out of work this week and being "together" as a family is testing my detachment skills. I guess that's why I'm spending way too much energy on what the heck she is doing. Need to go back to work.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
