Shutting the F*ck Up

[Ambivalent]

Portia,

I have been reading the thread. Did I miss something? I saw that he said things did not work out. Could that not mean, he broke it off? Or, he couldn't give to the relationship, so he checked out and she pushed?

I find it strange that you would even consider yourself as a consolation prize, or that he automatically thinks of you in this manner.

I thought that since he was in replay that this is normal...He is reaching out, and it seems you are angry that he didn't do it sooner.

I'm confused, isn't this what we want? For the runner to feel as if he/she can come home? That we are here to help them and guide them to home?

I thought most MLC'ers don't apologize when peeking out from the tunnel. When he invited you to call, it seemed if he was testing the water. If it was too cold or if it may be warm enough to dip a toe.

Am I wrong here? Am I the only one who sees this? Ultimately Portia it is your call. But rather than possibly shutting him down " I'm hardly home. " Perhaps until you know what you want, keep the bridge from burning?

It seems as if you have an expectation of an apology. For without that expectation, the anger may be something that will hold you back. Some of the MLC'ers may gush, others may sweep it under the rug. Some go to counseling and say they want in, and others conclude it's time to quit.

From what you wrote it seems he is poking his head out and seeing if it is safe.

Perhaps throw him a bone, if he bites then you can make a small decision to perhaps meet him somewhere public? Only you can decide this, but since it has been less than two years why not give it a try?

From what I've been reading , those months of no contact could have been his depressive stage of the MLC. He may be entering the acceptance stage. You've held on this long, do you want to find out, or do you want to hold on to anger?

I know even during my rants and emotional ups and downs I came here for a reason. It seems you may have a chance, rather than try to read his mind, ask him why he is contacting you? This way you can decide based on knowledge and not supposition.

Please take what I have written ,with the hope that you will see what is best for you and your heart. <3