Thanks all - I think over the course of this journey I have made progress in detaching myself from her feelings and reactions - but I still have a ways to go. I STILL find myself stopping and thinking "Seriously? This is my life now?" from time to time and that gets to me. I think this time of year seeing my friends and their spouses and children together gets to me as well. Happy for them - because I surely would not wish this upon them at all -- but still have moments of sadness because it's not working out they way for me right now and I feel "old".
Due to a few factors, I had to pick S up from XW this morning at 7:00. I stepped into her doorway and greeted S, but she BARELY addressed me. She spoke to S "tell daddy this, tell daddy that" and gave me some of his art projects from school - but the only time she really spoke to me was to ask if I was bringing him back on Friday. I feel as if it was a deliberately cold reception - and it was for sure out of the norm. My assumption would be that she is still angry that I did not let her take Thanksgiving and trade Christmas for it. Of course, paired with the fact I didn't let her have the multi-day holiday bonanza with my S in IA this year. Oh well.
