Me 13 months on, affair finally confirmed.

[hotwheelsaust]

Had a good coach session yesterday. Very positive. We decided that writing a letter/email for when I leave the country was not a good idea. It was based on "would she care"? At this stage we both agreed, that no, she wouldn't care. It was suggested that I keep the door open by connecting with her once every two or three months, or on special occassions (Merry Christmas etc). That one made me think: because at this stage, where I am, I don't want to connect with her. So will see how that one goes.
It was confirmed or agreed to, that the affair with a same sex partner doesn't change the way you would handle the sitch, compared to different sex affair. In other words, it is an affair, and is treated the same way.
Some of the other things:
* I don't tell the boys about the affair (wasn't planning to, but needed to ask), but importantly, be prepared for them to tell me.
* Don't tell W that I know (again had to ask, but wasn't going to do it).
* Don't change strategies (dark), but connect occasionally.
* No letter upon leaving. How would W view this letter? How would she care or view my leaving? Probably glad I am going....my view.
* Continue to let go of the rope.
* Be a role model for my sons.

These sessions really help. It puts you on the right path, or helps you stay on the path.
I basically need to continue doing what I am doing. No forcing the splitting of assets, no demanding a divorce and staying dark. Let the W make all the moves. Continue to not talk about W to sons, unless they initiate any discussion.