I realize she may be reaching out to me and perhaps my rejection of that request will have negative results down the line. However, like a drug addict, I don't want to be a quick fix that makes her feel better in the moment, but doesn't fix her long term issue.
Does that make sense?
Yes, it does. You know your sitch better than we do and it's up to you to make that call. But like I said before, don't turn down ALL offers. Because if you do, at some point she'll quit offering.
Good point. Noted.
It's interesting navigating the choppy waters of being a divorced stander. Are we supposed to "act" like a divorced couple? Neither one of us is truly moving on.
Tough questions that I know nobody here has the perfect answer to, just thinking out loud and trying to gather some different perspectives from people in similar situations.
I want her to get to a happy, healthy mental and emotional place where she is not dependent upon me. When she gets to that point in her life I would love for her to look at her life and choose me, but I don't want her to choose me out of dependency.
I want to do this right, and that means she has to get healthy, happy, and independent so she can make a clear decision for herself.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Originally Posted By: me
AS, thanks for your post and holding me accountable.
Well I wasn't trying to hold you accountable, it was an honest question, I didn't understand from reading the post what your reasons were
By asking you did make me really think about what my reasons were for declining and that those reasons should be valid and loving. Always encouraging to be reminded of why we make the decisions we make.
So thanks!
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
