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Wow.....you bad man! $20, eh maybe $30 next time! Lol.

Why is it up to you to talk to your son about the argument? Maybe, she should? She's the mom, no?!?

I hope she stops the spin cycle in her head soon You're doing wonderfully


M 16 T 20
M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15
Bomb drop April 4;
Moved out April 13
D started-full force
-----------------------
Dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and
you’re gonna hear me ROAR
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JFun51 Offline OP
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I'm still up at 2:30 am. I haven't talked to W since we came home. I did hear her leave her lair aka the MBR to go to the bathroom. She avoided goodnight & tuck in time with the boys again. I can't sleep because I'm really into watching a new series on Netflix. Fun times for me.

Push/pull stinks. Depression stinks. MLC stinks.

Tomorrow will be a good day. I'm going to ind something cool to do with my boys as we will all be home together.


Both 40
T-22 M-18
S13
S11

Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13
EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13
EA #2-9/13/13

Moved out and Legally Separated 6/14

"Success is a journey, not a destination."
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Originally Posted By: JFun51
I'm still up at 2:30 am. I haven't talked to W since we came home. I did hear her leave her lair aka the MBR to go to the bathroom. She avoided goodnight & tuck in time with the boys again. I can't sleep because I'm really into watching a new series on Netflix. Fun times for me.

I hope you're sleeping by now. Cuz now I'm awake! Bleah smile What series are you watching?


Push/pull stinks. Depression stinks. MLC stinks.

Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. Love stinks! Yeah, Yeah...love stinks (80s flashback)

Tomorrow will be a good day. I'm going to ind something cool to do with my boys as we will all be home together.
Maybe make some cookies together! My S used to love doing this with either of us. It is a fun way to bond and you can eat the rewards!



Me:49 H:47
S: 16
T:27 M:25
My EA: 2001
His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013
Separated, but H still in house

Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.


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Agreed. Baking is far better than being, say a doctor. You can eat your mistakes wink

It does svck, but it's not forever (contrary to what she might say to you). You won't let it be forever, I can tell you that. And you're a very strong person with a lot going for him. Believe me, this won't last longer than you can stand it.

That's long term. In the short term, enjoy the days. Enjoy the time with the boys. Heck, just enjoy breathing each day. Doesn't happen for all people...And stay hopeful. You can take the outcome either way, but you won't be happy with yourself if you don't make your changes. Regardless what she does with her choices.

Curious what the Netflix saga is that keeps you up so late?

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
AJM #2409042 11/27/13 04:29 PM
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JFun51 Offline OP
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Pud-been all about the songs lately. I love it. There's inspiration and desperation all over the place.

AJ-Thanks for the reassurances. I've always been a bit of a superhero/comic junkie. I decided to try The CW's Arrow. I got wrapped up in it last night and finished Season 1. Not too bad of a show. Good beat em up with plot twists galore and several pretty smoking hot ladies. Perfect recipe.

You have both inspired me to make cookies. Yea! We are also going to watch the Hunger Games movie after lunch. Whole family will go as we have all 4 read the books. Yes, S12 & S10 have read them all. S12 absolutely devours books. They are pretty awesome kids to say the least.


Both 40
T-22 M-18
S13
S11

Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13
EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13
EA #2-9/13/13

Moved out and Legally Separated 6/14

"Success is a journey, not a destination."
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Have fun JF. We're headed to the movies this afternoon too.


M - 42
W- 37
S's - 9,6
M-12
T-14
FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011
ILYBNILWY - march '12
FIL - died jan '13
W Moved out week later
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Update: Today was a pretty good day. I made cookies with my boys. (Thanks Pud) W was still in the bed til noon. Asked me what smelled do good. When I told her me and the boys made cookies she smiled and kept laying there. Hunger Games movie was cool after we all ate dinner at a local Italian restaraunt. I made sure W sat with S12 while I sat with S10 (not our normal seating pattern). I also had a talk with S12 about getting along with his mom.

I took a brisk 2.5 mile run in 30 degrees after we got home. A little cool, but very worth it. Plan on watching my new movie that arrived in the mail today. I ordered "Fireproof" after hearing people rave about it. If W wants to watch with me, great. If not, I bought it for me anyway.

W still hasn't called her Dad. She's made plans for us to eat with MIL tomorrow. When I asked her this evening if something was going on between her and FIL, she just said she was avoiding the lecture and smarta$$ comments from him about not talking to him. I said, "Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, you know." She promised she would call him. This is the man that stood and raised her and her brother when her mom skipped town when W was 12. FIL has his own flaws, but he never abandoned them. MIL is now her go to parent as she has been sober and stable for a while. Anyone see a pattern here?

I swear to goodness there has to be a manual the all pass around. It's like W has the entire blueprint for this mess rolled up in her purse and refers to it every day. It figures, cause anything and everything I tried to get her to read with me was "stupid." Where do they all line up to get their manual? Hopefully it's near the place where we line up to get our T shirt from the roller coaster.


Both 40
T-22 M-18
S13
S11

Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13
EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13
EA #2-9/13/13

Moved out and Legally Separated 6/14

"Success is a journey, not a destination."
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JFun... I think she got more upset about you taking control of the financial situation because that is already a hot button issue that a lot of couples have issues with, and she may specifically have longstanding issues with money that make her feel vulnerable.

Also, let's face it... the person who is cooking and cleaning and putting the kids to bed is taking RESPONSIBILITY, not necessarily what most of us would consider "control." So there may be other issues in her mind connected to paying the bills, like you are forcing her out of the financial decisions, if you separated or divorced your taking full control of the bills may make it seem like you would be less effected by a split, etc.

My H also seems to have serious issues with a mindset of money = power and control, it may just be a common thread of their MLC paranoia... that they can't trust the WAS with control of the money in those ways. It's almost like they project their own untrustworthiness on to us as a coping mechanism.


me-35
WAS-37
T-16 1/2
Son-14 (HF Aspergers)
BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013
"Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
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Just finished "Fireproof" by myself. I was absolutely overwhelmed. So many things that support everything we say here and everything we live through. Love is a choice, NOT a feeling. When we choose to love someone, it doesn't matter what they do in return. I found myself crying at so many stages of this film because I'm living it. The rejection, the failure, the frustration, the lack of respect and lack of fulfillment.

When we decide to be better men, it isn't for anyone else. It's for us. Whenever those around us come to the understanding that our transformation is real and ongoing, they better hold on. This man that I am trying to become physically, emotionally, & spiritually is so fundamentally different that it is rocking my world. I can understand why my wife doesn't get it. She is so confused by it and she cannot accept it for truth.

The greatest fact is that it doesn't matter if she gets it. Ever. This fight I'm undertaking is for me. I can live in peace every day knowing that I continue to fight the good fight. I have always been a man who was willing to fight for what I believe in. I am becoming a better man for myself. My children and my wife, if she chooses to, will have a greater presence in their lives.

I have been told numerous times on here that I have been given a gift. Thank God for it. My life will never be the same.


Both 40
T-22 M-18
S13
S11

Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13
EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13
EA #2-9/13/13

Moved out and Legally Separated 6/14

"Success is a journey, not a destination."
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J, you are doing great, keep looking within.

I just want to say one thing, if I may. I do not want to nitpick. I do want you to be your best you.

Her relationship with her father is hers to maintain. Her choice how she does it, right? When you say things like that to her it is you trying to control it.

You keep to your path. Leave her to her journey.

Have an amazing Thanksgiving.

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