Just found this site while searching for some experience with wives having affairs.
Quick version: Got blindsided at the end of September. W wants separation. May reconcile but only with separation. A week later my company went bankrupt. Now unemployed.
My side: I've been having depression problems related to stress for the past 5 years. Been sober in AA 19 years. Love my kids and wife dearly. Been short tempered and not much fun during this time. Missed family trips-put work first. Put my financial insecurities first and did not listen to my wife's dreams about her life etc...Her heart hardened and I was in denial. I take full responsibility in cleaning up my side- counseling now, more time with kids, trying to change my attitude and lots of soul searching.
What she's done: She started drinking after 16 clean years 2 years back. Never said she was unhappy with marriage. After a while she started going to hear mutual friends band at clubs. Then coming in very late 2-3 times a week. I was home with our kids. Said she was out with friends. 2 months ago I got proof from reading her logged in FB that she's having sex with a guy I know. Both deny it. She says she's doing nothing wrong and won't stop. All our old mutual friends are very sad she's living this way especially because of the children.
Married 10/4/1996 Me 53 Wife 47 Twin Children Boy and Girl 11 Bomb dropped 9/2013 Living "separated" in same house.
