Good to hear from you. It is really great to hear you are putting your energy into productive use. While you began making some changes around the house, fix it to please "you".
Taking a hard look at who we've become is not a pleasant job. As you begin to figure out what changes you want to make in yourself, I hope you can learn to be a friend to yourself and gain self respect. This is another goal that isn't reached overnight.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
