on the edge pt 2

[dingo]

I don't necessarily want to get divorced but in many ways, I feel like I already am. The love she had for me seems to be gone, at least at the level to where she is willing to commit to a life together and is willing to do the little things that make the relationship work. Regardless of whether there are still loving feelings there or whether a piece of paper says we are still married, the true connection is not there right now - maybe never to be regained.

I guess what I meant was that I wanted to stand up for my marriage and what it means to me. Commitment, perseverance, love, support, etc. Many of those characteristics she has not shown that she possesses - at least not now.

What I ultimately want is probably what everyone wants - to have someone to share my life with and have a family with. While I would want nothing more than for that person to be my wife, I am not naive enough to think that she is the only person in the world with which that is possible. I am also starting to wonder if, at this point, its not better to just end the chapter and start a new one with someone else. I know that's not being committed but how do you stay committed to someone who isn't committed to you? I am starting to feel like I am wasting my life and time.....