Being the nice person isn't always fun!

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks puddlemuddle. It's posts like that that keep me positive.

I wonder if I'm acting positive or if I'm really ok. I feel ok most of the time. I go up and down the roller coaster sometimes daily, sometimes hourly but generally I'm good. The downs aren't as bad as they once were but the ups are great.

I'm looking better than I've looked in years. I'm feeling happier than I have in years. I'm getting out, doing stuff, enjoying myself. I try to be the best person I can be every day. I make mistakes and I try not to beat myself up about it.

I'm not even sure I'd ever want my husband back but I know I don't need to make that decision today. Today it's not my decision to make, when it is (I do believe it will be one day) then ill cross that bridge. Till then it's all about me and my kids.

I try not to worry about my H too much. I try to let him enjoy his journey alone. I'm not always successful. It's not always possible. But generally I detach.

He's withdrawing from me more and more, which helps me detach. I wish him well. I hope he's well. I don't want his drama. I'm happy and that is enough right now.