So I need to have my head very clear on what trust and forgiveness means to me...no one would want to return to a R and have the spouse hold things over their heads forevermore.
I know I don't really do this verbally, but I keep thinking he is untrustworthy first..till he proves himself in any given scenario. It's time to let go, for me. Trust first.
Originally Posted By: TSquared2
I need to show. I need to be the first to give benefit of the doubt.
I loved this concept.
I, too, digested job's reconnex posts over and over again and it helped me get through this year. Thank you, job!
But, in addition to some work on my self-confidence (details on my own thread), I really love the mental concept of trusting first. Like we did trust our spouses in the beginning. Giving the benefit of the doubt instead of always thinking the worst.
What's the worst that can happen, right? We've already been through it and are now stronger, as you said!
It's the perfect mindset to go into a holiday weekend, IMO!
Thanks so much, T^2!!!
P.S. this "trusting" concept may be just the push I need to start my journey back to discovering more of who I am. If I'm always watching H b/c I don't trust him, then what feeble energy do I have left to invest in myself?
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
You and your antsy, my friend. LOL! Time to get that under control, now, ya hear?
You know, T, as we have seen on this forum, trust and forgiveness means different things to different people.
Both are necessary in order for both of you to move forward. You cannot have a relationship without them. Figure out what they look like for you.
Right now your job is to give her plenty of space, to show her with consistent actions that your changes are real,
She needs to feel safe. She needs to believe in the possibility of trust and forgiveness. How and when you get there is up to the two people involved. She needs to know that you are all in.
T, now is the time when the LBSer gets impatient. It is when your expectations have to be kept in check. It is when the MLCer is really looking inward. You may see some different stuff.
She may take a few steps back in order to make a big leap forward.
You can do this, T. I am going to be on you to keep the antsy in check. LOL! And as always, I am rooting you on and praying for you, my friend.
Yeah...T, the antsy pantsy police are on the prowl tonight scanning around the perimeter of Maytag land for any antsy interlopers with itty bitty feet!
